New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
