i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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