I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize