i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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