i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just want nice things and good sex
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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