I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
