I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
