that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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