I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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