Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
