Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
