bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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