And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize