You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize