nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
