so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
