ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
