No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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