that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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