i just sent this text using only my big toe
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
