absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
