You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
