who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
