I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
