woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
