drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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