why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
