my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
