doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
