Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
