there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
