It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
