If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
