I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
