big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
