i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Still dying that you shit outside
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
