well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
