when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This is my gift to your gina
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
