I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
