i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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