bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
