i just google imaged poop.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
