happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
