I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
