i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
