if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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