I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
