I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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