I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
