He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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