we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
