Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize