He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My feet surprised me
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
