they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
