You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
