i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
accomplished twins. life is a go
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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