Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
