Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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