pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
